Being Sick Is Inefficient, Day 4

[Days 1-3 were rough. ]

Well, I officially have the stomach flu, but it seems the worst of it is over. There were times this weekend when I felt like I was a pregnant woman repeatedly getting kicked in the stomach. And if some omniscient voice asked me, "Would you rather continue feeling this way or would you rather die?," I seriously probably would've chosen death. I will spare you the graphic details of my illness, but, if you insist on knowing, there was one avenue in which I found temporary sweet relief:



If you ever have the misfortune of coming down with the stomach flu, don't hold anything in. You have to purge that nastiness from your body.

I forgot to mention a few things yesterday:

• When my mother brought me liquids and things from Costco a couple days ago, she also brought me—inexplicably—three dozen eggs. Um...WHAT?!

• Those of you looking for a miracle weight loss cure? Look no further! Get the stomach flu! My weight fluctuates, but it typically tops out in the lower 130s. But at one point this weekend, I was weighing in at 119.8 pounds.

• Loren gave me a little Buddhist bell to carry around, so I could ring it anytime I wanted something...or anytime I wanted to annoy him with the sound of a Buddhist bell.

• During the peak of my illness, Pork Chop slept with me all night. Cats heal. Seriously.